Jewey Goddess Witchery

Owl Love You

2010-08-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

I have been paintingl like a mad scientist, birthing wonderful creations of bright loveliness. I hope you enjoy these paintings. They are my babies! So now I'm proud to call myself singer, songwriter, author, and arteest! Woot.

More Delicious Art

2010-08-18T12:58:00.000-07:00

abstract star garden series. delish.

ART

2010-08-18T12:56:00.001-07:00

happy town series...this painting fell and broke my cats leg. I'll never forgive myself.

ART

2010-08-18T12:43:00.001-07:00

Love birds. Brad and I.

Tha Thea-tuh

2010-07-02T07:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am back to my roots.

Teaching musical theater at a fabulous camp. Having the time of my life.

Theater is an amazing thing to teach because it teaches cooperation, imagination, improvisation, and group dynamic. It's such a creative environment and encourages kids to get out of their shells and really use their heads and hearts.

It's been such a fabulous experience that I am considering teaching a bit more, perhaps even at a high school level. My high school drama teachers had such a big influence on who I am and I hope to have that big of an effect on those I teach.

Yay for theater!

Mornings in Vancouver

2010-05-31T22:23:00.000-07:00

Just got back from an extraordinary trip to Vancouver, Washington, where I got to perform at yet another amazing Unschooling Conference. I am filled to the brim with good love from all the wild, brilliant folks that I got to see and spend time with.

I was so excited to get up early and write every morning. My writing has taken on a new fever because I decided to turn Clementine into a YA novel. I have been editing the first book and it's really coming together. I am loving it!

The first book is now Beat of the Bayou: A Clementine Wilder Supernatural Superstar Novel. Don't you love it?! I do!

Thanks Unschoolers for all the positive energy and inspiration!!!!

Why I LOVE to write

2009-10-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

It's my new passion, it is. Sitting down every morning for about an hour to write. Why do I love it so much? What is fueling this drive to put words together to make stories out of the thin air?

Power. Imagination. Fun.

I find it so incredibly powerful to dive into a world and watch it unfold. I learned this morning that I am a 'pantser' as opposed to a 'plotter.' The former writes by the seat of her pants, and that is what I do.

Is that what I'll always do, don't know. I'm finding my plot a bit sticky right now, so perhaps in the future I'll turn to plotting. But for now, I let the characters drive the story, sometimes totally surprised by their choices. Ultimately, I can tell them NO! If I want to, but most of the time they know what's best.

My imagination is tested, flexed, and happy. It has the opportunity to get out there and do something instead of sitting between my ears imagining shit about my own future. It would much rather be set free to ponder the next chapter than worry about bills, dinner or car problems.

Fun. Fun. Fun. Til Daddy takes the t-bird away. What the hell does that mean anyway? Well, whatever. No matter. Writing is fucking fun. I had to add a fucking to show how very much fun I feel it is. It's not just fun fun. It's fuu-cking fun. Like more fun than riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. (Never done it, but sounded fun.) More fun than hoola hooping on top of Mount Everest. (Never done that either, but sounds uber fun.)

So, that's it. Enough out of me. I'm going to write now.

Throwing up a Fist in the Face of the Block

2009-10-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

Writer's block?

Write anyway.

That's the best advice I found while searching around online to figure out what to do next. I'm 55,000 words into book two of the Clementine series and I hit a wall. Felt like I have a jumble fuck of characters and it feels like it's going to take a miracle for it to all come together.

This life is a miracle and things happen daily that are miraculous, so will it be a miracle? Yes. But I believe miracles happen. The fact that I am writing my SECOND novel is, in itself, an absolutely fabulous divine happening.

Update on personal life after silly sleepless rant: All is well. Bunky and I are moving, which is exciting. We found the PERFECT place! I am loving my job teaching lately, starting to teach a theater class next week. Simple happiness is surrounding me and I'm embracing it.

Enough out of me, must pack.

Sleep? HA!

2009-09-24T23:44:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep.

Toss. Turn.

Sleepytime Tea.

Fret about the future.

Listen to the hamster running on her wheel. Feel a whole lot like her.

Make another cup of tea.

Chat with old friends on facebook

Wonder what went wrong, why I can't sleep, why I cry too much, why I'm not enjoying my job. Where is my career going, where am I going, where are we going to move, how are we going to afford it, will I ever get published, will I ever get this new cd finished... will i have a baby? will the hamster ever stop running? will my brain ever slow down? how many cups of tea will it take?

Writing History

2009-09-14T19:01:00.000-07:00

Surfing around the internet, peeking around at blogs and sites of writers, I keep seeing the question - Did you always know you wanted to be a writer? - and I wanted to dive into this for myself.

Did I?

No. Deffffffinitely NOT.

Up until a few years ago, I could not FATHOM the idea of stringing together more than a few paragraphs, let alone several chapters to make a WHOLE STORY?!!? Writing papers was always fun in school, but it was ultimately super effortful.

But when I think about my first childhood fetish, it all begins to make sense! I was ADDICTED to collecting ERASERS! I know it's strange, but I loved these suckers. In every shape, size, color...tiny little high heels made of rubber, smiley faces, glow in the dark, pencil-toppers, huge ice cream cones...the BEST things ever! Some of them smelled AMAZING too!

Next fetish was school supplies. Mechanical pencils. Mechanical fuckin pencils. Drool. What about those pens with the four different colors all in one?!!? Do you remember that?! Ah. mazing. A good ball point? Like butter. Markers, sharpies, little pens, ultra big ones. Obsessed.

Then I got into poetry and music and writing in that vein. It was a slow progression. Starting with my first band in college, then poetry slamming in Orlando, and eventually producing six full length original cds.

It was in Boone, North Carolina where the novel writing magic really unfolded. Scratch that. It was in New Orleans, when I was on the road. I was staying in this nasty hotel and it was late, and I was all alone. My imagination was getting the best of me, so I decided to turn it on itself. I broke out my laptop and started typing. Clementine was born.

Now I can see myself writing many, many novels in the years to come. I get so much joy watching characters unfold in front of me, surprising me at every turn. My favorite new quote is:

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can see only as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."E.L. Doctorow

I LOVE THAT!!!!

If you think you can write, you can. I believe in you! And if I can do it, anyone can!!

Weeew Heeeew!

2009-09-14T18:53:00.001-07:00

For all of you who have been following my journey with Clementine, I must give you the greatest of all news so far with this adventure:

A very cool agent asked to read my full manuscript!!! This is just one of many steps in getting published, but it's an important one, and should be celebrated. Even if she ultimately rejects the book.

AND.

I am 40,000 words into book took, roughly halfway through. This book has been so exciting to write. The ritual has been: wake up, walk thirty minutes with NO music...letting the imagination run wild about the story, come home, brew coffee, shower, sit and write for NO LESS than one hour. It's a dream.

I love writing, and I love life. Just got back from GOOD VIBRATIONS in San Diego and that was a complete blast. I love unschoolers!!!!

Chaos Theory

2009-08-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

Do you think it's all chaos? Not me. There's a definite order to things.

They seem so messy and random, but eventually the pieces fit together so perfectly it's mind-bending. Remember rubix cubes? Did you ever just sit and turn the sides over and over again and all of a sudden there was a completed side? That's how I feel about life sometimes.

Keep turning and turning and it will click.

So many wonderful things going on right now for me. I've committed to an hour every morning with Clementine. We are having a ball - 100 pages into book two. Still querying - nothing yet. Key word: YET. I know it will happen.

I'm so lucky to have Jake Ohman working on some drawings of Clem for the cover. Just fabulous.

Also, I've officially started a choir - the INSPIRE CHOIR of the Boca Raton Center for Spiritual Living. We are singing all original hurhs (my version of hymns). They are simple, melodic treats full of positivity and light. We have our first performance Sunday.

I have my second intervew with a music academy tomorrow to teach Musical Theater, Piano, Voice and some Guitar to students, which will be great for me. I've had a ton of free time on my hands and I want to have a full, busy life.

Finally, I've secured a college booking agent, which means I'm finally going to be making some money doing what I love! She is going to conferences next week, so cross your fingers that I book and book and book!

Bunky (Brad my love) and I are doing great - we are in the middle of Battlestar Galactica - LOVING IT. We are loosely planning for a February wedding, but more details on that to come.

All in all life is really good. Keeping active with morning walks, daily prayer and lots of good family time. My mom and I have gotten really close with me living down the street from her, so that's been awesome.

Babbling on....

Amy

Rejections

2009-08-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Why does it hurt so much to be rejected?

Not just literarily, but literally.

I mean, receiving an email from an agent telling you that your book isn't quite what they need/want at this time isn't so terrible. But rejection from friends and loved ones. That's unbearable.

Recently, I was trying to help a friend. She was quite upset and so I put my two cents in and tried to soothe her with empathy. She outright insulted me and rejected me! OUCH!

Sometimes we are hurting and we hurt others. I get that. But why can't I see it for what it is and not take it so PERSONALLY!?

As far as Clementine, I have received four rejections from my queries so far. And it just feels like part of the process. I still believe in her very much.

Write on.

On the write again...

2009-08-12T07:44:00.000-07:00

Wow,

It's been quite some time since I've blogged. Facebook sort of took over my life when it comes to this sort of thing, but it's important to keep this thing up, especially when it comes to Clementine.

I put her away for awhile because I was getting so many rejections, I thought she needed a rest. I also had to take some time to move back down to Florida from the mountains and was working hard on my one woman show through the winter.

Spring had me falling in love with Brad. We are engaged and he is my dear heart. We are past the furious love stage and so now I can re-focus on the writing and get down to work.

I've joined the www.querytracker.com site and am now submitting queries again to agents. If I am unable to find an agent within the next few months I am definitely going to self-publish her. She is too wonderful to keep to myself! I love her and want to share her with you!

Say YES!

2008-06-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

It is time to listen to the universe.

It is talking to you.

It is asking you to reach deep into the YES and embrace it.

Whatever is coming your way, say YES to it, because surely it is for your greatest growth and highest truth.

When the challenges come, know deep down that it is all about the YES.

Book Update plus my BOX!

2008-05-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

Since I've written, I know it's been too long, I met a literary agent at a convention that asked to see Clementine and I just received a request through email from another agency that I had queried! Clementine is still out there, getting ready to be picked up. I'm still excited about her, I'm just really focused on this KICK ASS tour that I'm on.

Right now I'm writing from a hostel in Denver, and this place is awesome! I just saw IN BRUGE with Colin Farrell, which was AWESOME, and also just came from a full body massage...she was VERY good. Now I'm off to Indian food with a new friend and my show here is tomorrow night.

I've posted a pic of my new tip box that I made from scratch with the help of my friends Jade and Ruby in St. Louis!

More later

The Big Bottled Lie

2008-05-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Holy SHITE.
If you do a super quick search on TAP water versus BOTTLED water, you will find that tap is much safer - it is tested more often and is more pure. Please do the world a favor and just say NO to bottled water. Go ahead and invest in a SIGG bottle and fill it up anywhere.
This might be the beginning of me being really annoying about this kind of stuff.
Sorry

Breadcrumbs

2008-05-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

The swirling vortex of fate and possibility has led me to the next breadcrumb. I am quite sure that my purpose is being unveiled as I journey across these great United States. The planet is in crisis and I am determined to use my entertaining voice to bring awareness and aid to her struggle.

An idea I'm having right now is a new one woman show about Sustainability and Social Awareness concerning this gorgeous world of ours. Something that has really knocked me over the head is the consumer mentality that propels us in our everyday lives.

Disposable, plastic, temporary everything is raping us of substance and respect. I can see this in my own life, when I awaken to the fact that when I'm perusing in Target I have a deep sense of calm. This is ridiculous, but true. So help me with any ideas you might have to motivate people. The last thing I want to do is become some preacher!

First things first, what I am realizing I can do is no longer use any disposable cups from Starbucks or Fast Food (eek). I am guilty of eating Subway on the road and an ocassional Wendy Salad. But I'm going to cut way back on that, and when I do go to a restaurant like that, I will use my own cup. It's an easy thing and we can all do it!

With sustainable love,
A

Holy Moly

2008-05-03T17:23:00.000-07:00

I think I'm dreaming.

I am at the SVN Convention (Social Venture Network) which is an organization of socially conscious business folks...I was brought here to sing my songs - and so much more has happened for me.

I am awake.

go here: www.thestoryofstuff.com

I mean, I knew all this, but I feel deeply changed and awakened.

Help me save the earth would ya?

New Yawk

2008-04-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

New Yawk New Yawk!

I had a wonderful day in the city - it was GORGEOUS outside!

Always thinking about moving back here................ who knows!

My Sister's Book

2008-04-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

My sister's book is available on Amazon. It is a memoir that I read in one afternoon, and had to put down three times because I was crying so hard. Here is a description on Amazon:

Set against the backdrop of the comfortable life of a seemingly happy and prosperous Jewish family, the story of how a little girl-smart, talented, and eager to please-was repeatedly molested by her maternal grandfather and then by one of his friends strikes at the heart of the tradition of safety and comfort and the sanctity of the family itself. Jenny's recounting of her childhood-with her beautiful bedroom, dance lessons, and childhood friends and activities, interspersed with her for-many-years-suppressed memories of her violation by her grandfather-is shocking and infuriating. How could a trusted family member do such things to a little girl, his precious first grandchild? Her painful childhood is followed by years of confusion, sexual acting out, and addiction, all the fruit of that terrible violation. When she begins the long and difficult process of recovery, we root for her, even as we rail against the terrible reason for all her pain. Finally, as we see her emerge from the dark wood, we cheer for her and begin to understand that victims can become more than what happened to them: they can, as Jenny has, move forward under their own power and find peace and maybe even a little justice. This story of Jenny's struggles, her insights, her determination, and her triumph will be a powerful inspiration to all.

BUY IT. - go to AMAZON.com and search for Jenny Skylark Kuvin - I can't figure out how to put a link here....

Holy Sit!

2008-04-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

About to head out again today, from PA to Boston...long assss drive.
Yesterday I got stuck in terrible DC traffic, which really sucked.
Show last night was interesting, didn't know I was playing a Christian coffeehouse.
Tee hee.
So I threw our all the double entendres I could and left it at that.
My back has been killin me, so all you reiki masters out there, send me back reiki!
Boston today is sure to be amazing, playing the MLK Peace Concert at Boston University.
It's a great day to celebrate PEACE!
May your day be peaceful :)

Spring Tour Kickoff

2008-04-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

Spring Tour 2008
Day One

Newport News
Starving Artist Studio!

I am sitting here post-show with Marlene, her hubby Mike and their two dogs Zeus and Bacchus. These people are amazing. The show was adorable tonight, quite intimate...I know that I'll be back there and we'll rock out a huge crowd.

The drive was beautiful today, I took a shot of this flower bush on the side of the road, amazed by it. Drank me some S-bux as you can see, next to the great ticket that was made for the show.

I also created a coffee mug at the Studio, which was fun, although I'm pooped. Now I'm watching "Step it up and DANCE" on BRAVO, which I admit I'm addicted to. So bye for now!

Sex Scene

2008-04-23T17:45:00.000-07:00

Wrote my first lesbian sex scene last night.

Quite exciting, to say the least.

Every time I've written a sex scene I have to put the computer down and, well....

Pleasure myself.

There, I said it.

Heading out tomorrow, so send love to Hung Gay the Hyundai (that's my new car).

Just Can't Wait!

2008-04-22T16:15:00.000-07:00

To get on the road again!

Well, that's not exactly true.

My head is about to spin off as I pack, clean, arrange, send posters, fill in the tour holes, contact friends, email, post bulletins.

See you out there I hope :)

The perfect agent for Clementine is out there just waiting for me
The perfect agent for Clementine is out there just waiting for her
The perfect agent for Clementine is going to contact me very soon
The perfect agent for Clementine thinks she is a brilliant MC
The perfect agent for Clementine is excited about signing me!

Woot.

Snore

2008-04-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

Today, I didn't want to get out of bed. I just wanted to stay under the covers, curled up, away from the big bad day.

I leave in two days for tour and I've got a list of things to do that is a bit daunting. I'm not much of a procrastinator, so I thought it was important to make note of this moment. I don't wanna.

Waa!

My apartment is so cozy and bright. And mine. When I am here, I'm surrounded by my art, my books, my dishes, my STUFF. When I get on the road, I surrender all of that. I have my car, my instruments, and one suitcase.

As I age, I mature into my sign more. I am a cancer, sign of the homemaker. My aquarius moon makes me the wandering type. So I think at some point I'm going to just have to invest somehow in a big ol camper.

Haven't mentioned the book much over the past few days because I've been receiving rejections, and haven't been writing. So I'm a tad depressed over all that. But I know creativity comes in waves, so I'll just hang on, do what's on my list, and good news is sure to come soon.

I am Woman! Hear me cramp

2008-04-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

Ay yay yay! Another month, another flow. Today is one of those... please can i curl up on the couch and watch movies and eat chocolate and do nothing else? days.

But I didn't have one of those days. I had an active day, where I:

a. went to the courthouse to pay for that nasty speeding ticket I got
b. VOTED!
c. got oil changed for big trip

Doesn't sound like exciting stuff, but it's the stuff that makes up being a responsible adult. Showing up and doing the next right thing.

Oh, and I voted for Hillary.

And every other woman on the North Carolina ticket.

Cuz I'm like that - Sexist I mean.

Maxin Relaxin

2008-04-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

Didn't write today!

Sometimes you just need to take a day off.

But...I did....

Edit a bit (couldn't help myself), for ANOTHER partial request. Yep, you heard it. ANOTHER partial request.

I've added up the queries I've made, and it totals over thirty - I have gotten five requests, so that's purty darn gud.

Now is where I begin to beat away the negative voices with my broomstick. Out, Out, Negative FEARS! Get out of my brain!

Also started to organize my space a bit for my subletter that will be taking over my place for three months, while I'm on tour. Should be interesting to see if I can keep up with my writing on tour. I know that I will be filling the well out there on the highway, that's for sure.

Hope you had a relaxing Sunday too!

Drive and Plot

2008-04-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

Four and a half hour drive to Greenville, NC for a show and I found myself plotting the second book out a bit. The open road tends to open my creative mind. I finished writing a song for Clementine, "Gypsy Girl" which I think you will all love.

Now I'm going to do some laughing yoga with my good friend Rhonda before my show!

sunshine spirit

2008-04-17T12:23:00.001-07:00

it's a new day
the sun is shining
the mountains are humming
i bought some printer ink
all is well

sending out more queries and partials today

with beams,
a

arrrrrrrrgh

2008-04-17T01:44:00.000-07:00

what a day.
i've already posted once.

got another request for pages!! woot woot woot.

BUT. now i'm obsessing, and i mean obsessing like lying in bed, re-starting the computer, it's five am obsessing.
FORMATTING HELL!

jesus h. lord kristy in heaven above

basically, um, i'm winging it.

my biggest fear is that someone will reject my stuff based on such things. silly.

the truth is...the perfect agent and publisher will arrive right on time and what i neeeed to be doing is continuing to add sparkle, and WORK ON BOOK TWO damnit.

plus i leave for tour in a week. so i'm a little scatterbrained.

pray for me :)

doing reps

2008-04-16T14:43:00.000-07:00

What a day.

I'm sure it's bound to get better.

I've noticed that the universe tends to balance itself out. The teeter-totter of experience is always swaying back and forth, back and forth.

As I've mentioned here, the past few days have been adrenaline-filled celebrations. I got three requests for pages! I sent out the stuff, and we'll soon get feedback.

Today.

Got in a fight with my ex.

That kind of fight where afterwards you are crying so hard you are moaning in your car, speeding past people, on your way to get the rest of your shit from the fuckin trailer already.

The kind of fight that leaves you wondering why, why, why me? Why did that cop have to stop me and give me 150$ ticket. Damn pigs.

"You don't even know the headache you've given me," I said to the blonde-haired blue-eyed copper.

That fight that leaves you with a carload of crap that you kept in the closet for a REASON. Crap that is in boxes that you can't bring yourself to throw away. Reviews, pictures, tax junk, journals and more journals. So there you are in your apartment, staring through memories, listening to the blues.

But the day's poopiness didn't end there. I received a personalized rejection through email (not one of the three previously mentioned) where the agent said the first pages didn't "pull her in like she had hoped." So I crushed this agents hopes with my shitty first pages.

Self-esteem!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHhh! Where are you going!>!!> It's just one rejection. There are many more to come!!!!!!!! Do some push-ups!

I can write
I CAN write
I am a writer
I DO write

three more times now!

I can
I do
I will
I will
I am.

Thank goddess for girlfriends who come over and bring Chinese food. We are going to watch the Clinton/Obama debate and for a second I am going to stop thinking about my book, and my career, and my ex.

PHEW! I feel better now.

2008-04-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Sent out my first hard copy response to an agent. Feels like I'm gambling with aces! Who knows what is coming next.

Today has been an emotional day. My ex came over and I got my feelings hurt. BIG surprise there. Me, feelings, hurt!? Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Cancer with a cancer rising and a venus in LEO.

This makes me an oversensitive egomaniacal diva.

Yes. That's me!

So, back to writing. I've been working mostly on spiffing up my synopsis. I tell ya, the synopsis and query writing is quite a bear. They have to be snappy and tight.

Back to polishing!

Tears of Joy

2008-04-14T14:51:00.000-07:00

So last night I received my first rejection. My cherry was popped.

This morning I received two

Count them two.

One.

Two.

Requests to see pages!

Can you EVEN believe it???

When the second one arrived, and from a pretty well-known agency, I started to cry. I didn't know what else to do. I was on the phone with my buddy Dawn and I was just overtaken by the urge to bawl. So I did. Because I emote. I emote so well. You should try it!

So I've been really polishing the heck out of the book, drinking coffee, listening to soundscapes on the tv. It's snowing here in Boone, so it's a very cozy day.

I feel blessed and excited and elated and nervous! (I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing because I didn't get a degree in creative writing or anything.)

This whole experience has been so natural and it feels like I'm really on a fabulous new path! Touring with my music has been totally incredible, but I am a Cancer down to the bone, and I'm ready to settle down for a bit. Writing will be the perfect career for me! Of course, I will still tour!

I don't want to be tooo optimistic, but I'm hopeful and manifesting ABUNDANCE!!!

As my good friend says, I'm going to shake my tail to the Abun-DANCE!

Thanks for your encouragment!

And now, ladies and gentlemen...let's play - REEEE Jection!!!

2008-04-13T21:23:00.000-07:00

Hello lovers.

So I got my first rejection.

Feels like I received some sort of twisted love letter.

I've arrived!

I love that the lotus grows in poop.

The Morning After

2008-04-12T11:50:00.000-07:00

Wowza.

I'm tired as hellllllllllllllllllllllll today.

Had the strangest dreams involving buses and Darrell Scott. (If you don't know who that is, check him out - fabulous songwriter.)

Feeling quite alone these days in my writing head. It's almost like I'm becoming addicted to it. I just want to write all day, or edit, or query, or research. An absolute joy it has become.

But I don't want to get too isolated with it. I'm about to head out on tour again, so I'm sure that I'll have some time off the junk (slaps arm).

Last night I sent out 14 queries. I am extremely proud of this!

Just found the Absolute Write Water Cooler...and it's an amazing vat of information. All the questions I've been bombarding my writer friends with can now be answered! YIPPEE!

www.absolutewrite.com

Check it out!

Query Madness

2008-04-11T23:56:00.001-07:00

It is SO late.

Too late.

The birds are singing late.

And I am sending out my first e-queries. This is a ginormous undertaking and I had no earthly idea how much was involved with this whole trying-to-find-an-agent thing!!! Oy vey times a gerzillion!

I emailed out fourteen queries (the crowd goes wild), and I'm very proud.

It's important to remember when you are putting your ass out there to be rejected, all the demons come out to play in your head. As long as you keep it all safe in your computer, you are fine...a superstar....a rich novelist (een youuur miiiind)!!!

So, here's the query I sent...hope you likey:

April 11, 2008

Dear sexy agent woman (whomever she may be),

My fans are convinced that I am the main character in my first novel, CLEMENTINE AND THE BIG SLEAZY, a 60,000 word, chick-lit paranormal mystery. True, I am an uber-fabulous performer on the verge of rock stardom, but (a) I'm not psychic, and (b) I don't solve mysteries for the dead.

Clementine Wilder is a voluptuous, sassy thirty-something who sings rock soaked blues from the depths of her broken past. While touring with her band, the reluctant clairvoyant Clementine is badgered by needy ghosts who drag her through elaborate and titillating crime-solving missions. Along with clues from the obnoxious dead, each charade unfolds through her lucid dreams, ancient Ouija boards, and of course, palm readings, tarot cards, and tea leaves.

The adventure begins in New Orleans, when Clem is accosted in a motel bathroom by a perverted ghost, who sends her on a wild-goose chase after a missing child. Meanwhile, bassist Paul is in love with Clementine, oversexed lesbian drummer Karly is keeping her fifty girlfriends sorted, and Clem is rekindling with Mooney, the married cop she's been having a tumultuous on-again-off-again affair with for years. So! Between singing the blues, finding the kid, and sexing up the officer (meanwhile blaming it all on astrology), Clementine has her guitar-playin’ hands full.

As an independent, nationally-touring musician, I have sold over 10,000 cds. My success in music led to the groundbreaking idea of attaching an MP3 card to the cover of each book! The card will contain Clementine’s songs from gigs that appear throughout the story.

My fans have already been introduced to some of Clementine’s greatest hits at my shows and are anxiously awaiting her arrival. I look forward to finding the perfect agent to help me bring her to life. The entire six-book series is roughly outlined, and I am one hundred pages into book two, CLEMENTINE AND THE BIG APPLE BOTTOM, which takes place in New York City. The Oh My Darling! series is a necromantic rollercoaster ride, which eventually unfurls Clementine’s own puzzling past. I have the first 50 pages ready to send upon your request. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
Amy Steinberg

HERE GOES NOTHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Virginal Blogger - Secret of Novel Writing

2008-04-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

Ooh. My first blog. I feel so innocent.

Been a long time since I felt that!

I'm sitting in my dark apartment on a Friday night, obsessing over my first novel. The entire process has been thrilling beyond my wildest dreams. I used to daydream about being an author, but I never thought I could develop the attention span to sit still long enough to complete a thought, let alone tons strung together.

I have figured out the secret!

You must write about something that you absolutely LOVE. The main character has to be so sassy, so exciting, so absolutely irresistible to YOU, that you simply can't stop writing.

Growing up an A-student and an overachiever, I always figured that if I were going to write a novel, it had better be the GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL, damnit!

But my friend Dawn Wasserman told me recently that I am writing the Great American Novel! It is a paranormal chick-lit mystery - everyone needs a little Clementine Wilder. Sure, you have to have a huge catharsis once in awhile, but you need a yummy dessert once daily, dontcha?! The Great American Novel these days is a novel that SELLS! I believe Clementine will sell.

But beyond that...I ENJOY the fuck out of writing her. She is a clairvoyant rock singer, on the verge of full-out rock stardom. Juggling men, talking to ghosts, reading minds....all the things I either do or wish I could do! I include my favorite topics of Astrology, Tarot Cards, and Crystals. Too much damn fun.

So, I want to encourage all you out there who feel like you want to write a book. YOU CAN. If I can (super attention deficit sitch here guys) - anyone can.

Welcome to my blog!